Driving > Disco

Ladies and gentlemen, the 2010 Zach Randolph.

39. Zach Randolph
Round of applause to Z-Bo for his historic vault from last year's "Worst 25 Contracts" list to No. 39 this year. If you need two points at the end of a tight game, and you could throw it inside to any low-post player, he's the pick this season. It's true. Maybe NBA head cases are like difficult Hollywood actors: pure hell in the early part of their careers, seemingly unable to escape their baggage, and then they mature just enough that their talent is allowed to flourish. Z-Bo's 2010 stats aren't any different than his 2004 stats, or even his 2009 stats, but HE seems different. More ... serene. No different than Rasheed Wallace that first Detroit spring, C-Webb upon arriving in Sacramento, Big Dog on the 2001 Bucks, Hakeem (yes, The Dream was a head case once upon a time) on the 1993 Rockets, Barkley on the 1993 Suns. Eventually, things calm down, they learn from past mistakes and talent wins out for a year or three. You hope. It happened for Z-Bo and Robert Downey Jr.; it didn't happen for Isaiah Rider and Tom Sizemore. You never know.

From a recent BSG column. Please disregard the point Simmons makes earlier about Thabeet being a "difficult choice" to leave off of the list. >=[ Let's hope Z-Bo goes more along the lines of Ironman, than, um, well insert your favorite (non Heat) related Tom Sizemore character reference here _____.

This is from an old BSG column (10/23) but I really hate the Lakers and Simmons does too, which is just one more reason why I sometimes do debate about whether or not I should turn gay and go for him...but that's a post for another day.

There was no better place to put this, so here you go. Non-sports fans can go ahead and stop reading now:

3b. Khloe Kardashian
Raise your hand if you're excited about Khlomar! (Happily raising hand.) Look, I don't have much ammo for the teams I hate right now. The Colts have been ruined for me; Peyton Manning has become such a monolith of clutchness that I can't even toss grenades at him; if anything, I respect the hell out of him. The Yankees are pulling for each other, slamming shaving pies into faces and looking unbeatable; even worse, it's the kind of likable, quirky (albeit, expensive) team that the Red Sox once had before they dumped their front office, ignored human intuition, decided that "business-like" was better than "personable," and used complicated statistical engines to assemble their 2009 roster. (Wait, we didn't do that? It just seemed like it. Sorry.) So really, hating the hateable Lakers is all I have left.

And you know what else? It's fun to have teams that you hate. I hate Sasha Vujacic's hair. I hate the fact women like Luke Walton. I hate their uniforms. I hate when Pau Gasol gets excited and does that thing where he barks with his hands at his sides as his ugly beard drips sweat over everyone. I hate not being able to hate Derek Fisher. I love being able to hate Kobe, who has brought me more hateable joy than anyone else this decade. (But damn, is that guy good. I do respect him.) I hate Laker fans who show up for Clipper games and only start making noise when the Lakers go up double-digits. I hate the fact D.J. Mbenga has a publicist. I could go on and on.

I would hope that Lakers fans are OK with this. I would hope they hate the Celtics just as much, for reasons that are just as personal to them. That's what makes the rivalry great -- we hate them, they hate us, and somehow, the hatred is deepening, in a good way. After all, it's just sports. I don't REALLY hate anyone. (Well, except for Vujacic. If he was crossing the street on a crosswalk, I'd like to think that I wouldn't run him over, but I would definitely glance around to see how many people were looking before I made a final decision.) So that's what makes me so happy that the Lakers added not just the black sheep Kardashian sister, but …

3a. Ron Artest
… the looniest player in the history of the league! As they're defending a title! And even better, every Laker fan thinks he's an upgrade over Trevor Ariza! Really? That's what you think? You really think that?

(http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/part2/091023&sportCat=nba)

We knew it was coming, but before I could even get my authentic Jerry Stackhouse Grizzlies jersey in my cart on grizzlies.com, the veteran was waived.

It really makes you stop and think about what could have been...


If this was Jerry Stackhouse circa 2001, that is. So long sucker!

(the following is ripped from the headlines, law & order style. well, maybe not that important, but it was in Bill Simmons' latest Mailbag on ESPN's page 2)

Q: If you're an NBA GM, is Chris Wallace your Amazon Gold Box Deal? Pretty much any time of the day, you can go find something 25 percent cheaper than retail, and then every so often it's like ... WHAT!? A new Weber grill for $100!!? I need to get this!
-- Dan Groff, Lancaster, Pa.

SG: In fairness to Wallace, I thought he did a nice job of resisting dumb offers that wanted him to give away that No. 2 pick; instead, he just screwed up the pick and took the wrong guy. I think that's progress -- he's only screwing up his own team instead of affecting the manifest destiny of the entire league. I am proud of him. But if you were giving him a nickname, wouldn't it be "The Money Launderer?" Has any GM been a peripheral third or fourth party that facilitated more cap-unfriendly trades more times than Chris Wallace? I always picture other GMs calling him and asking, "Hey Chris, would you like to help out three teams that you're competing against for no real reason at all? (Listening.) You'd love to help? That's fantastic! Thank you!"

At least now I can rest a little easier, knowing that who we draft will never be relevant, as long as C-Dub is at the helm. Ahhhhhhh

Suck on that, Kobe. One Jerry West, who had something to do with the NBA I think, (it escapes me), recently had some nice words for a non-Laker. J-Dub stated that LBJ had the chance to "be arguably the greatest player ever to play the game," and "Even though it's hard for me to be objective, because I brought Kobe to Los Angeles, I do think LeBron has surpassed Kobe as a player."

That had to hurt a little, right?

Also, do I even have to add GO NUGGETS!!!

Howard Schultz, what do you get when you buy a city's NBA franchise just to make a couple of extra bucks, run it into the ground, whine about not making enough money quickly enough (uh, aren't you a billionaire already?) and then sell out the city's 41 years of NBA history, including their only professional sports championship?

You know what they say about payback, right?

I've always been a fan of the white chocolate mocha, but I gotta admit, seeing what he did to pro basketball in Seattle, I would'nt miss Starbucks one bit if they went out of business.

Well, that was over quick. The Memphis Grizzlies and the Minnesota Timberwolves have agreed in principle to the following deal:

Memphis gets: O.J. Mayo, Marko Jaric, Greg Buckner and the corpse formerly known as Antoine Walker

Minny gets: Kevin Love, Mike Miller and the corpses formerly known as Brian Cardinal and Jason Collins.

I guess if you step back and look at it from the outside, we got the #3 pick from the #5 spot, although we did lose Mike Miller, one of the best pure shooters in the league. All in all, it feels a little like one of those .85 cents for a $1 trade, and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure what we ended up with. I can say this, Walker, Cardinal and Collins are all dead weight, so at least we were able to unload two stiffs in exchange for one. That does leave our roster with like 20 players though, so I'm sure some of these guys won't ever don their new teams' jerseys anyway.

Everyone keeps talk about Mayo's upside (although that upside managed to lose to Beasley's K-State team in the first round of the NCAA tourney last year and totally screw up my bracket). As I mentioned before, I think I liked K-Love, not for his "potential" but for what he brings to the table right now. Oh well. Good on ya, K-Love. Don't let those Minnesotans corrupt you.

Also, I liked this blurb from ESPN.com: "Wolves GM Kevin McHale was infatuated with Love, but felt that the team had to select Mayo and use him to acquire more assets." So, is he sending him directly to Boston in exchange for Sam Cassel, or will he wait a couple of months?

So, its NBA draft time again and surprise, surprise, the Grizzlies are there. Although they did stumble a couple of years ago (2003-2006) and break their streak of 8 straight playoff misses, we are now 44 wins, 120 losses and 2 years removed from that quasi-success (they are, afterall, 0 for 12 when it comes to the playoffs).

So without further ado, I present Who ya got? NBA Draft 2008 Edition. The Grizzlies are sitting at #5, and while a lot can change between now and 6pm CST tomorrow night, there are a couple of scenarios floating around the L right now. Here, in no particular order, are a couple of them.

1. Chicago/Miami takes Rose/Beasley, Minnesota takes a side of Mayo, Seattle goes for Brook Lopez and the Grizz take Kevin Love. I wasn't anywhere near sold on this deal about this time last week. While Love is good, I don't think he's worthy of the fifth pick in the draft. But, after a lot of research, I think what you see with Love is what you get. You're getting a big, who is capable of rebounding, playing some D, grabbing rebounds, blocking a shot or two with a decent shot and a suprise 3 pointer. I think this would qualify as you're not getting a Hall of Famer, but you could worse.

2. Chicago takes Rose, Miami takes Beasley, Minnesota gets some Love, Seattle goes for the Mayo and Memphis takes Gordon, Westbrook or Bayless, then wraps that pick up with Mike Conley and Mike Miller, in the ultimate .70 cents for a buck deal (lets just say we are not ending up with the buck) in exchange for Beasley and some corpse.

3. Rose, Beasley, Love and Mayo get got, and Memphis goes for Eric Gordon. From what I saw of him at IU, he was ok, but never seemed to be able to take over a game when it mattered most. Add that to the fact that he is a 6'3" shooting guard and you've left me thoroughly underwhelmed. He'd be an ok pick at #15 or #25...but #5...no thanks.

4. Rose, Beasley, Love and Mayo are gone, and Memphis, with only one shady Euro on the roster (none other than Marc gasol)[EDIT: How could I forget you, Darko?], goes for the biggest reach of a pick in recent memory, Danilo Gallanari. I'm not going to say that I think he is a bust...because I had not even heard of him as recently as LAST WEEK. A 6'9" small forward from Europe? What's not to like? Questionable shot selection? Check. In love with the 3 point shot? Check. Complete lack of defense? Check. Where do I sign up? NBA general managers see a name they can't pronounce and something in their brain translates it into "Dirk Nowitski." They are always ready to take a gamble on an unknown Euro because he might turn into someone that can what, barely get you to the finals once and lose? I guess the only upside to picking this dude (really any dude) here and not trading anyone is that you don't trade half the team in order to gamble on a rookie, or worse, cut cap space.

Well, I see that Jermaine O'Neal just got traded for T.J. Ford, so I guess all bets are off. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put on my Gasol jersey (original black & teal colors), curl up in the fetal position in the corner of the closet and weep silently in the dark.

Congratulations Kevin Garnett (1995), Ray Allen (1996), and Paul Pierce (1998). Back in May 2007, after receiving the 5th pick in the NBA draft, I'm guessing most people in Boston figured it was another lost season. In June, trading the pick for Ray Allen and in July landing Kevin Garnett via a trade, the Celtics went "all in" for a shot at the NBA title, moves I too was critical of at the time. I think Tuesday nights win silenced all the critics.

I don't think anyone in the world would've seen that one coming. Lakers, down 0 games to 2, play game 3 in Los Angeles and get a big, fat, gift wrapped W? Strange. I would love to see the C's finish it off at the Staples Center, but considering the payout the L would get from a game 6 & 7 in Boston, I'm betting that this series will be going the distance.

ESPN is reporting that Starbucks CEO and previously generally accepted tool Howard "I'm complaining about losing $ on the Sonics even though I'm the CEO of Starbucks" Schultz is planning a law suit against Clay Bennett and his Oklahoma City basketball snatchers for breach of contract. In the suit, Schultz states that one of the terms was that Bennett would make a "good faith" effort to keep the team in Seattle, before trying to move to Oklahoma City. Bennett had a pretty good lying frenzy going on, until recently uncovered emails between him and some of his co-scum showed otherwise. Three cheers to David Stern who was up in arms over keeping the NBA in post-Katrina New Orleans, but basically told Seattle that, without a PR-generating natural disaster, they were screwed. The NBA...where betrayal happens.

Maybe the Big Cup of Joe can make me reconsider torching the effigy of him that I built and keep the Sonics in the Pacific Northwest where they belong!

So after 41 years and one championship (1979), David Stern seems content to allow the Seattle Sonics, the only major league team in the city's history to win a championship in the big four, to leave town and relocate in Oklahoma City.

Oklahoma City served as the "home" site for the New Orleans Hornets in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. The 2007-08 season was the first season that the Hornets were back in New Orleans for all 41 of their home games. David Stern swore up and down that the NBA was committed to New Orleans. He even went as far as to move the All-Star game for this season to the Big Easy and hosted the NBA Day of Service there, where NBA personnel helped out with reconstruction efforts.

As profound as the damage (and recovery efforts) that affected New Orleans were/are, I certainly do not think it would be appropriate to take away their NBA team, regardless of financial support at the moment. I just find it odd that team Stern is so adamant about keeping a team in New Orleans (even though they did let one leave before and let them take the most obvious and appropriate name in pro sports history with it), but will turn around and sell out the franchise in Seattle that started 7 years before New Orleans had any team (and has stuck it out through thick and thin for 41 years, while the Jazz left after 5 years and the Hornets did not arrive until about 6 years ago).

I guess I have always assumed that the Grizzlies will one day leave Memphis, and its not like we have some rich basketball heritage to begin with, but if a team that has grown 41 years worth of roots in a city can be snatched away for the right price, then what hope does any team have? I can't see the Celtics, Knicks or Lakers moving under any circumstances, but outside of those three...whats to say that your home team won't be next? (that last statement was directed at the 18 or so NBA fans that are left in the country) I'll be the first in line at the "pro-sport athletes are paid too much" (but not before the same argument is made towards Hollywood actors, though both are subjects for later posts), but as long as we are forgetting the money for a moment, I feel the need to fight for the Sonics.

Bill Simmons is much more eloquent on the subject than myself, so I'll leave you with his comments and those of his readers.

Also, I just found out that a group headed by Microsoft's CEO Steve Ballmer, Costco's CEO & President Jim Sinegal and wireless entrepreneur John Stanton, are attempting to foot half the bill for renovations to the Sonic's Key Arena as well as purchase a stake in professional basketball for Seattle. Read more.

Updated: 9:15 pm - OK, forgot to post this awesome Seattle Sonics blog that I found. Its called Supersonicsoul.com and has some great material in regards to the seemingly inevitable pillaging of the Sonics. The most recent post has a link to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's coverage of David Stern (who is rapidly climbing the leaderboard of my most hated people) saying that the latest move to keep the Sonics in Seattle is a "PR stunt." Classy! Why is it I still like the NBA?