Driving > Disco

We'll go ahead and chalk this up to "not going to be a running post title," or how about just "needs a new gimmicky post title?"



From last Friday's BSG mail bag column. Be it Conan or Bill Simmons, if you can turn anything into a "movie," and then name me a cast that is either funny because they look alike or (in this case) funny because of the situation you can envision Hollywood trying to force down our collective gullet, then dang it, I'm going to laugh. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that if you don't follow/like sports (nfl for this edition) this will probably make less than zero sense to you. Enjoy! (100% more music in my next post...promise)


Doesn't the Deion Branch/Tom Brady reunion feel like the plot of a romantic comedy? The way everyone's been talking about him, Branch would probably be played by Jennifer Aniston.
--Jeremy Z., Dorchester, Mass.

SG: I'd rather go younger and grab Katherine Heigl. She plays Branch; John Krasinski plays Brady; Megan Fox plays Moss; Aubrey Plaza plays Wes Welker; and Tim Allen plays Bill Belichick. The movie would definitely be called "Second Catch," and it would definitely end with Brady and Branch practicing timing patterns on a football field as the sun sets and some lame Feist song plays.

Read that headline again and see if makes any more sense to you.

It didn't make any more sense to me either.  Golden Tate is a wide receiver for the Seattle Seahawks.  Apparently, he finds maple bars irresistible.

Per the ESPN article...

RENTON, Wash. -- Seahawks rookie wide receiver Golden Tate apologized Tuesday and said he was "very embarrassed" after police in suburban Seattle gave him a warning for trespassing into a gourmet doughnut shop at 3 a.m. last weekend.

The former Notre Dame star says it was a foolish mistake but that he is glad to have learned a valuable lesson without getting arrested.

Tate says a friend took a couple of maple bars from the shop, which is at the bottom of the building in which Tate lives.

He says "they are irresistible."

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll says he has talked to Tate, and agrees that maple bars can be irresistible.

The emphasis on that last sentence was all me.  I just wanted to call attention to the fact that, Pete Carroll, one of the highest paid football coaches in the NFL, talked to an impressionable rookie football player and, rather than suggest he not break into doughnut shops at 3am, he decided simply to agree that Tate's baked good of choice was indeed irresistible.  Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010 Seattle Seahawks!!

(Unverified) Posted Feb 18th 2010 4:14PM
Highest Ranked

I understand why they are doing this but they need to drop the price of games if they are going to make used copies useless since the price of a game also includes how much I will get back if I sell it after I am dine with it.

kitsune Posted Feb 18th 2010 4:27PM
Neutral

@(Unverified)

You dine with your games? That's very gallant of you.

From an article about Sony testing a "anti-piracy" system that will all but make used games unplayable...unless you pay an extra $20 for a voucher to play online.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 2010 Zach Randolph.

39. Zach Randolph
Round of applause to Z-Bo for his historic vault from last year's "Worst 25 Contracts" list to No. 39 this year. If you need two points at the end of a tight game, and you could throw it inside to any low-post player, he's the pick this season. It's true. Maybe NBA head cases are like difficult Hollywood actors: pure hell in the early part of their careers, seemingly unable to escape their baggage, and then they mature just enough that their talent is allowed to flourish. Z-Bo's 2010 stats aren't any different than his 2004 stats, or even his 2009 stats, but HE seems different. More ... serene. No different than Rasheed Wallace that first Detroit spring, C-Webb upon arriving in Sacramento, Big Dog on the 2001 Bucks, Hakeem (yes, The Dream was a head case once upon a time) on the 1993 Rockets, Barkley on the 1993 Suns. Eventually, things calm down, they learn from past mistakes and talent wins out for a year or three. You hope. It happened for Z-Bo and Robert Downey Jr.; it didn't happen for Isaiah Rider and Tom Sizemore. You never know.

From a recent BSG column. Please disregard the point Simmons makes earlier about Thabeet being a "difficult choice" to leave off of the list. >=[ Let's hope Z-Bo goes more along the lines of Ironman, than, um, well insert your favorite (non Heat) related Tom Sizemore character reference here _____.

Q: Have you ever wondered what Dora and Diego actually do to make money? I have and the only plausible explanation is that Diego trades in exotic animals (ever notice that everything he saves is highly prized as some sort of ancient remedy) and Dora is simply a Colombian drug courier (how else do you explain a magic backpack full of "stars" that makes everything better).
--Steve, Petaluma, Calif.

SG: You're dead on. I also think Max and Ruby's grandmother is an ex-con with multiple aliases and outstanding warrants.

From a recent BSG mailbag...

I think this video speaks for itself...

Ok, so #MusicMonday is apparently my most read and appreciated running post around here and, considering that I have been really good, relatively speaking, in posting #musicmondays, I'm going to try to build on that success with a new recurring gag, er post. In the same spirit that I blatantly stole #musicmonday from Twitter, I'm going to do my impression of consumer America by repackaging something old in a shiny new wrapper and pass it off to you, the consumer as something new and worthy of your attention. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you #TwitterTuesday.



I'm starting to think that Twitter is much more valuable as a content of comedy, as opposed to social networking, or microblogging, or stalking...whatever it is that it is "supposed" to be used for.

So, trending topics should not be foreign to you by now. One such example is #MusicMonday, which is thrown around Twitter on Mondays, wherein people can suggest new music to one another, tell people what they are listening to, or apparently just try to be "seen" by people searching for #musicmonday.

In today's trending topics, I noticed a particularly intriguing hashtag: #uknowuhood. This hashtag is basically looking for you to complete the Foxworthy "you know you're a redneck when," joke with its bizzaro urban counterpart. Something that would allow you (and others) to identify you as "hood," based on your actions, thoughts, etc. Following are some of my personal favorites:

#uKNOWuHOOD IF U DON'T HAVE GOOD TABLE MANNERS.. SMH I STILL DON'T NO HOW TO CUTT MY PANCAKES THE RIGHT WAY.. I JUST BREAK THEM SHYTS.. LOL

#uknowuhood if you wanted 'corn pops' and got 'puffs of corn' or 'corn flakes' and got 'flakes of corn' less than a minute ago from web

#uknowuhood if u eva put batteries in the freezer to try to recharge them for ur remote ...lol I tried that before.

#uknowuhood when yo passenger gotta get in on tha DRIVER side

#UknowUhood when u think dressing up means ur 7 jeans and a crisp pair of AF1s.

#uknowuhood when you still got dial up lol

#uknowuhood when u still be gellin down the naps on the side of yo head talkin bout "dats baby hair!" LMAO! HELL NAW!

Oh to be young...

While I make no effort to hide my enjoyment of Ryan Adams' musical prowess, if this Smoking Gun report is to be believed, then he, like most professional musicians, have specific and sometimes very expensive (Jay-Z) requests for their dressing rooms, after show areas and even their buses.

For example, Ryan likes to have a "clean, working tea kettle," a white unscented candle and an ashtray for pregame (nothing too out of the ordinary there), but demands "3 cans of diet 7 up," a jar of honey, "various boxes of organic instant noodles and soup," a bottle of Listerine and 6 pairs of men's athletic socks for the after party.

Certainly not hating on Jay-Z, but my comment above was in regards to his requirement of 2x bottles of "$300 champagne," 2x bottles of $200 wine and, among other things, a $400,000 Maybach sedan to use while he is in your town.

I guess you'll have to have seen (or at least heard) the original, but for anyone familiar with Danzig's song "Mother," I think you will get a kick out of this. Well, if you have a damaged sense of humor like me that is.

If you find yourself near what might be a spot where international roaming charges might apply, think before you watch a football game via Slingbox!

(and yes, I've been looking for any article I could use that P Diddy picture on forever. the look on his face when he finds a $1 in his "bankroll" is priceless!)

So, again, I'm taking the lazy way out. Jessica swears that I saw the original Blizzard Man (from 1996?) but I don't recollect that. I was watching the episode from a couple of weeks ago, and apparently missed the new one too, but Jessica did get me to find/watch it online. All I can say is, I'm glad I did. The old one is up first, then the new one is below.

This time of year can be stressful, so I thought I'd lighten the mood a little, with something humorous I found out on the internet. I'm sure its old and you've all seen it before, but this is the first I've seen of it, so cut me some slack.

Let me also say that there is nothing funny about terrorism, so please don't think I'm making light of it. The "Homeland Security Advisory System" is, however, another matter altogether.

Behold, the new and improved, Terror Alert Scale:



I thin I'll add the current alert level as a new widget. Too funny!


Ernie: All commercial flights
Bert: Everything else

Should've posted this back when it debuted, but I was just reminded of it the other night and felt the need to share...